A bundle of joy... 506 syringes later.

Do not forget God when you get what you prayed for. Rewind to January 15th 2018, I lost a pregnancy at 22 weeks, till date that’s the worst thing that has happened to me, the pain you feel when you lose a baby is different, I can never even wish it on my enemy.  I was depressed and felt so empty for the longest. I was inconsolable and guess what, as a hard guy, I used to cry in the shower so no one would see me crying, I would cry myself to sleep almost every day for about 8 months.  

                                         

       

In January 2019 I got pregnant again however this was a chemical pregnancy because I saw my period a day after getting a positive test result. I won’t lie, I questioned God, I wondered what I had done to make me wait 12 months then loose it again exactly one year later, I was devastated but I had no choice other than to move on.

A few months later, I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant in March 2019 and I was extremely happy. Nothing would happen to this one! I reduced my work hours, saw the doctor and he said everything was fine. At my 7 weeks checkup, there was a yolk sac but no fetal pole, I was a bit worried, but the doctor said some pregnancies are slow. I did another scan at 8 weeks and it was the same - the pregnancy was not viable; I couldn’t believe it! I had a scheduled training in 3 days (fully paid for) how could I cancel and disappoint my students?! I went for an evacuation and went ahead with my training the following Monday. I almost felt like cancelling but I find that to overcome sadness and depression, you must distract yourself, be around people and find ways to be happy- cliche I know but it’s the truth!

In June I had another miscarriage at 5 weeks, to be honest I was over it. I had spent the last 18 months of my life, crying, being miserable, goggling all sorts and worrying over something I had no control over. I actually had a conversation with God saying, “maybe I’m meant to have just Adetumbi, I will stop complaining, crying, wallowing in sadness and self-pity and be thankful instead. That was the last day I will cry if I see my period again.

I know a lot of women who are dealing with infertility or dealt with it in the past are sitting on this table. Town crier was my name!

Now let’s fast forward to the great part!

I have this client called Yetty, she’s God sent! So she was relocating abroad and wanted a touch-up, she called for an appointment and asked for a discount and I rolled my eyes, I told the receptionist to tell her we don’t do discounts on touch-ups but she was persistent and sent a picture of her brows. I saw it and told them to tell her she didn’t need a touch-up! She was alarmed because it was almost 18 months and insisted that she wanted to get a touch-up. I said okay this woman just wants to waste her money, tell her to come, I will give her a 10% discount.

On the day of her appointment, I felt it was a waste of my time, there was nothing to do! Little did I know God sent her on a mission! She had met Adetumbi at her last appointment and I must have mentioned that I was pregnant because she asked about my kids and I said I had only one and told her about my previous miscarriages, she stopped me while I was grooming her brows and said I had to meet her doctor, I was skeptical but I got her details.

Fast forward to my meeting with my doctor which was almost messed up but thank God I serve a living God. After listening to my history, she said I had to do a series of tests to check what was wrong before she starts giving me fertility Stressingdrugs because according to her I was getting pregnant but loosing it so there must be an underlying cause. My test results came out and we found the culprit! I had an autoimmune disorder called Antiphospholipid syndrome where the immune system mistakenly attacks normal proteins in the blood, now this syndrome causes blood clots to form within the arteries, veins and organs and also causes miscarriages and still birth in pregnant women. I was sad because there’s no cure but it can be managed (with daily baby aspirin).

She drew up a plan and said immediately I get pregnant, I was meant to take injections. I didn’t know what I was in for. Five weeks after my meeting with her, I found out I was pregnant. I was extremely happy but sad at the same time because of how many times I had been disappointed. I sent her an email telling her I had a positive PT. We communicate via email and she replies as fast as lightning; and she sent me to get injections, which I thought was one off, jokes! From 5 weeks till I gave birth at 36 weeks, I was on 2 Clexane injections per day then it went down to one per day and then 2 per day again. Honestly I would have taken 5 per day if that was the price I had to pay for my darling Koko to be born.

I’m sure I must have been a terribly paranoid preggo! My friend gave me a doppler and the day the heart beat sounded off, I would drive to do a scan, I was doing scans almost every week, Crestview took all my coins.

I had numerous scares caused by my over paranoid self. But you can’t blame me, I had been through it. Koye came at 36 weeks weighting 2kg and when I heard him cry, it was like all my worries had come to an end. Finally! Finally! God is great!

Now why am I telling this story? I want to encourage everyone going through some difficulty, it doesn’t have to be childbirth, pray and leave the rest to God. I was at work and God sent me Professor Afolabi through my client Aunty Yetty, just like that.

All my night of crying didn’t help, it only gave me horrible eye bags. I know worrying is human nature but try as much as possible not to dwell on the problem. I know they say a problem shared is gossip for people to talk about, however in my case, a problem shared was half solved.

I am thankful to my partner who held me down on my moody days, crying nights and just when I fight him for no reason. I was an angry and sad bird. I am thankful to for friends, Funke’, Buki, Derin, Ada, Tracy, Shola, Racheal, Sandra, Jumai, Ugonwa, Nikky B and many more, who were there to console me during my many loses. I am thankful for my clients whom I used as a means of escape, to get away from my worries, you all are the real MVP. Some prayed with me and the very emotional ones cried with me. I can’t remember everyone’s name - Aunty Lotanna, Fiyin, Aunty Banke, Tope FnR, Joysshh, Joyce Oriki and many more and I can’t forget the ones who came into my life when it had happened, thank you very much, you are all a part of my story!

I am sharing this today and letting any woman going through infertility/miscarriages “you are not alone”. I pray your home will be filled soon with cries and laughter of a baby, sooner than you think, worry not and cast all your cares on God.

A lot of people do not talk about miscarriages and the pain they have gone through, I found that sharing my stories with my friends and clients made me feel better somewhat.

So let go of the stigma that comes with miscarriages and talk about your problems if they make you feel better.

Clexane is quite expensive and I have some syringes left, if you know anyone who has a blood clot disorder and has been prescribed Clexane by the doctor, I will like to buy N50,000 worth of injections for the person and also give them the stash I have left.

A true-life story published with kind permission of Onyekachi Iroha

Instagram handle: @chi_beautyatelierafrica